Thursday, March 25, 2010

In a drought

So I am having trouble with motivation. Don't seem to have much. I find myself watching tv and playing solitaire on the computer. Not all the time of course, however, enough to be a concern or noteworthy.
With my nest relatively empty, my down time has increased. My down time is up as it were.
I see myself in transition. I'm in my crysallis (use a speech impediment) and should be coming out as a moth or butterfly anytime now. Actually I'm not expecting to emerge for some time. I'm not going anywhere, just hanging upside down but changing never the less. Of course that means I was a worm/caterpiller before. How do you spell caterpiller? This blogging is a lot of pressure to know how to spell things. Maybe I should have stuck with worm. That's ridiculous, worms don't even change into anything. They are stuck as worms, which may or may not be a good thing.
I lost my train of thought. Stopped to make enchiladas. That's the way life is. You are on a roll and you have to take a turn and make enchiladas.


  1. You are NOT a worm, otherwise the birds at Bolsa Chica would have got you by now. However, worms are invaluable, they may not change into anything but they are indispensable in their efforts to keep the world changing and healing, it is time to not be a worm anymore, you have given so much to others and continue to, so maybe I'm just suggesting that you can cut-back on your worm-being time and try on the cocoon thing.
    Spelling matters not, you are in transition, it's a very hard place to be in, there is a longing to stay there in comfort and isolation and protection, yet the promise of what is next is very exhilarating(it is frightening to think the future could trick us and let us down, but what I believe instead is that as you be more and do more as Sandy that you will inevitably also attract more Sandy-like people into your life. Being in a cocoon is ok, it is restful and healing and a very self-loving thing to do for yourself, let the judging voices go by, just let yourself feel listen to you own heart.

    The art is a large 2-sided drawing I did.

    I love you San, thanks for your love.

  2. I hear you, Sandy. Felt that way myself many at time.
    Love your blog.
    Love this especially: "You are on a roll and you have to take a turn and make enchiladas."
    Life is definitely like that...
    Take care!