Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Life out of control

It's not that my life is out of control, but I am unable to control other people's lives. In fact, I shouldn't even try since I have no power to control what other's do. It seems like a simple concept and yet many of us and when I say that I mean most of us try on a daily basis to change other people's lives. We would all do well to make sure our own lives were in order before trying to change others. I of course include myself. It must be part of our makeup to see other's problem's and solutions more clearly than our own.
I know, I will set the goal for tomorrow to let people be themselves for 24 hours. It's a start. I pledge to not tell anyone what to do tomorrow. Sounds easy. But the phrase "you know what you should do..." is so tempting. It's like the chocolate of the phrase world.
I hope I don't forget.


Today's grateful list
1. Went to Redondo to have our taxes done, always a treat
2. skyped with two sisters and a father
3. slept in
4. enjoyed the beautiful clouds as we drove home, maybe snowing in the mountains
5. Mike may be home for Easter at Berardelli's

Monday, March 29, 2010


Here is today's list of things I am grateful for.
1. Bonding with Jen
2. the hawk (sharpshin?) sitting in the tree outside my kitchen with it's kill ( a black bird) in it's tallons
3. I continue to get a lot of enjoyment out of my first portrait painting even though I didn't touch it today
4. Getting Mike's critique of said portrait
5. arranging the plants on my deck now that I have my new table.

Sunday, March 28, 2010


My gratefullness list for today
1. Watching the Greatest Story ever Told
2. Making breakfast for the boys
3. Watching "Simon Birch" with Natalie in my lap
4. Attempting my first portrait with acrylics ( I haven't laughed this hard in a long time)
5. Walking on the beach at sunset with a full moon rising

Wow, It is ridiculously easy to make my list. I am so fortunate!

Saturday, March 27, 2010


I am reading Simple Abundance. the author recommends writing five things you are grateful for every night before you go to bed.
1. My kids
2. My parents
3. My siblings
4. My friends
She suggests pointing out specific things each day, such as noticing a beautiful flower
Finding things to be grateful for:
There is a dove nesting in my potted plant.
I watered the dust off my garden plants.
I skyped with my mom.
I had coffee on the beach this morning.
I did some painting today, abstract.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

In a drought

So I am having trouble with motivation. Don't seem to have much. I find myself watching tv and playing solitaire on the computer. Not all the time of course, however, enough to be a concern or noteworthy.
With my nest relatively empty, my down time has increased. My down time is up as it were.
I see myself in transition. I'm in my crysallis (use a speech impediment) and should be coming out as a moth or butterfly anytime now. Actually I'm not expecting to emerge for some time. I'm not going anywhere, just hanging upside down but changing never the less. Of course that means I was a worm/caterpiller before. How do you spell caterpiller? This blogging is a lot of pressure to know how to spell things. Maybe I should have stuck with worm. That's ridiculous, worms don't even change into anything. They are stuck as worms, which may or may not be a good thing.
I lost my train of thought. Stopped to make enchiladas. That's the way life is. You are on a roll and you have to take a turn and make enchiladas.

Friday, March 19, 2010


It's so hard to decide how to deal with my stress. Should I eat more, drink more, tense up my muscles???Yes that sounds right. I will tie my back muscles in knots to relieve my stress. Wait a minute, I have the knots and my stress is still here. It's funny how stress sneaks up on you. I didn't think I was feeling stress...the crying at a moments notice should have been a dead give away. The trick is to not let it get the upper hand. I was laying around, resting my back yesterday and it occurred to me I was letting the stress win. so today I got up and loaded my dog in the car and we went off to work. I feel much better today however I'll never know if I would have felt better anyway, no matter what I did.
You know that is the amazing thing about life. We make our daily decisions and that is our lives. We will never know what course I life would have taken if we had not gone to work or left the dog home or skipped rope all day: all of these being potential choices.
I chose to drop in on Adler's mom today who was cleaning out her dead son's house. We had a great visit. I said Hi I am Sandy and she hugged me. Say what you want about death, it really brings the living together. I've noticed this over and over again. for the most part it doesn't last: that is why I go to as many funerals as possible, to make that connection and drop on dead people's mothers'. My back is definitely feeling better. In fact, I believe my stress level has dropped precipitously.
Well, back to decluttering my house.

Friday, March 12, 2010

I found it

So I found the first blog. It was a draft. It takes a while to navigate this site. As I mentioned earlier, I am not a writer. I pledge to never write that again. Spending a lot of time on the couch recently, really getting to know it. It is about 17 years old, leather, getting cracky, I used to love the color.
There are so many choices, each day, each minute of what to do and not to do. I am faced with so many choices, what to do, what to do.
I am however off to the airport because I chose to pick up my first husband and take him to his home, not THE Home but his current home.
But first a little laundry.

I just lost my first blog

So I was just blogging and I lost it. I guess I am supposed to save as I go. Anyway as I was saying, I called my sister on Skype and she said she had started blogging and that I should. I told her I was not a good writer but she said that didn't matter that I should blog anyway. The I said I didn't like to put my true feelings out there for everyone to see and she said maybe I would become more comfortable as time went on and that's when I told her to shut the hell up and leave me alone and of course she didn't and nagged me some more and then her husband told her to leave me alone and of course she still nagged but more quietly this time. So now I see the autosave of draft is working so where is the draft I did a few minutes ago? So many questions. So then we talked about what I could blog about and I told her I was thinking of reading War and Peace and I could blog about that as I went along because it has like a million pages or something. "Sandy's blog star date page 37 of War & Peace, still have no idea about what this book is about except I'm expecting war or peace to happen anytime. " It would be like a travel diary as I travelled thought the pages of an epic story like that not understanding a word. So this is kind of like Seinfeld where the show was about nothing. I blog about nothing but it's my nothing. I'll sign off now, the laundry needs folding.